A movie that moved me

I love movies as probably most of you.
My favorite genre is horror, action and of course a good comedy.
However just before Christmas we watched a Dutch movie called “spijt” (regret)

Now why did this movie moved me so much I decided to dedicate blogpost to it…..

“spijt” is all about bullying, teasing at school.
The main character is an overweight boy in his teens and he is being picked on by 3 fellow students, everyone sees it but no-one helps, and when someone tries to reach out they become the laughingstock, now during the movie there are some friendships build up between the main character and some of his fellow students but nothing deep enough to really help him out and prevent the sad end of a suicide……

Now one could argue that we all know about this, teasing is a normal part of growing up, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger etc.
Well that’s also the opinion of the teachers at his (and most schools).
Children that are being picked on are often in a situation where they can feel like there is no way out, you can’t go to your parents because…. you can’t go to the teachers because….. and you sure can’t defend yourself for the simple reason there are just way too many to ever win, so most will just put their head down and take the bullying. Some will come out of it ok, but all will bear the scars for the rest of their lives, and some… well some will commit (or try) suicide, and some will take out a gun and go to school to take revenge.

In the end, no-one is the better party in this.
Often the ones bullying have huge problems themselves at home and use the bullying as a “release” for their own trouble, often this is overlooked and by punishing the one bullying it can actually make matters worse for the one being picked on.

Now why this blogpost……
Well I normally never talk about myself and my personal life online but after seeing this movie I had the opinion that if I could just make one person feel better it would be worth it. The movie moved me intense because I recognized almost every scene in the movie (and worse). I always struggled with my weight, with me it’s not food but it’s a dumb genetic problem, I’ve followed every diet, sport my brains out but I have to accept I will never ever have a “normal” body. Luckily as we get older this gets much less important, people start to see you for who you are and the person you are, but when you’re young…. well it just can get real nasty.

So what is my message….
For the teasers and the one bullying.
Remember that the one you are picking on now can (and probably will) turn out to be someone you need, a doctor, a dentist or whatever but it could also turn out to be someone you admirer, someone where you look up to. I know you can’t imagine it now…. but I’m sure most of my bullies also never thought I would become what I am now, so if you are reading this and you are a bully…. well some of those people you bully really can turn out to be really nice/cool and someone who’s work you like.

For the one being teased or bullied.
Remember that you are a person, just as the ones bullying you, also remember that although it sounds incredibly “stupid” at this point, this WILL pass. And realize that the one doing the bullying probably has a lot of problems of him/herself, you don’t wake up one morning and think about starting to ruin some-ones life, it’s a release of frustration. Sometimes it will look like he/she has everything, the most popular boy/girl in school, captain of the team etc. but trust me in most cases the home situation is much much worse than you think. So how do you keep going…. there is no real answer, trust me I know, just keep your head up and believe in yourself, find someone to talk to someone you trust, find a great hobby in which you can excel but most of all keep “shining” be yourself. If you are a “nerd” you will probably have higher grades than the other ones, well that’s a good thing you will earn the money in life, if you have a “weird” body… well it’s something you have to life with and again it will get better, of course it’s never nice to be in that position but what is being seen as “weird” and a reason to tease/bully in your teens is actually much much less important later in life, and yeah don’t worry you will find the love of your life even if it now seems like you will never ever be popular with the girls or boys. I also married one of the best girls 😀

If you look at some of the people that are now very successful you will probably find out that a lot of them have a background in being bullied and teased. Always believe in yourself, how hard it will be, hearing everyday that you will fail is nog good for your confidence but trust me…. it will make you a stronger person if you are able to just ignore it just keep in mind that in the future people will judge you for who you are and not for how you look and it will happen pretty soon, the whole area of judging someone for things that are in fact NOT important in later life is a period in our lives where we all struggle with ourselves and some people who are not happy will try to pick on someone else to make themselves feel better…..

All the ones that are not standard.
All the ones that are not conform the norm.
All the ones that are standing out from the crowd.

Remember that in the future YOU will…
Not be the standard
Not be conform the norm
Stand out from the crowd……

or in other words YOU ROCK…….
Always and I mean always believe in yourself and keep holding on to the knowledge that even people from you don’t expect it (because they are successful) probably experienced the same misery that you did.